My brother called me and told me about a US Airways plane crash. I felt numb because I knew Chris was flying at that moment, but I didn't know where he was exactly. I hung up with my brother and went on the internet to try to find out anything I could, but nothing had been posted yet. I think back now and wonder why I didn't just immediately try to call Chris, but I guess my brain wasn't working right or I was afraid he wouldn't answer.
Then my sister called and I couldn't even talk. She was so calm. She kept saying, "Tracy, calm down. You have to calm down." She told me what she knew and asked me where Chris was flying that day. I couldn't think. I couldn't remember. He was on the last day of a four-day trip. I did know he always flies out of LaGuardia. I knew that he was going to North Carolina at some point during the day, which didn't help when she told me that's where the plane was headed. At this point we didn't know that everyone survived, so I was assuming the worst.
Then I got a beep that I had another call. I could breathe again when I saw it was Chris calling me. I switched the call over and couldn't even talk. He said he had just landed in Phili and the crew there told them about the plane going down and that they should call their families.
I hated the feeling of not knowing and being so helpless. This time I couldn't receive comfort in the fact that it wasn't Chris' airline, because it was. It was also the Airbus he flies, the route he flies, and a time when he was in the air.
I've gone through scenarios in my mind of how I would handle myself if anything tragic did happen and I always imagined doing much better than I did. I always thought I would remain calm to protect my kids as long as possible, but that didn't happen. I couldn't stop crying. Poor Sophia knew it was about her dad from listening to my conversation with my brother and kept asking me what was going on. But I couldn't reassure her that everything was okay, because I didn't know.
Alec was amazing. We had two extra girls in our home we were watching and he took them and his sisters all out of the room, because he knew something was wrong and didn't want them watching my breakdown.
With Chris being furloughed for these past few years, I had forgotten about these emotional ups and downs that came when he was flying. I remember those feelings very clearly now. I have never been so grateful to see Chris walk through the door as I was that day. I've realized I can't plan for how I will react in that kind of situation, which I guess I should've known. I just hope it doesn't happen again.
Chris and Alec in 2000
10 comments:
Oh my goodness Tracy I can't even imagine how hard that must have been for you!! I am so sorry that you went through that and am so glad that Chris is safe and sound. Wow. Big hug to you Tracy!!
I am so glad that it wasn't Chris. I hope that you don't have any more tears for quite some time. It's just not like you; it makes me nervous.
Wow! I heard about the plane crash, and although I have a few friends whose husbands are pilots, I didn't even think about them. My mind immediately jumped to the fact that everyone was safe. How scary that must have been! Often, when Steve is late getting home, and I haven't heard from him, I get irrational fears that something bad has happened--but I've never had it be that serious! I'm so sorry you had to go through that. It must have been terrible. I'm glad Chris is safe!
Oh, Tracy, I cried through this whole post. I hate that you had to feel that way for SO long. 10 minutes is an eternity. What an amazing boy Alec is for realizing the situation and stepping up to the plate, he must have been so scared but he was so strong, what a good son. I am so glad that Chris is okay, and also glad that no one from that flight was hurt or killed. what a miracle.
Tracy, you just made me cry for George making you cry! I feel so bad. I am glad Alec stepped up to the plate and became the man of the house. -- Are you surviving the week of visitors?? 'Wish it was us!
Oh Tracy! I didn't realize it hit so close to home. I remember when I found out about it (late that night) and Bri said, "Chris flies US Airways". I got scared for a minute and then remembered I had talked to you earlier that day (after it happened) and you didn't seem upset at all, so I knew everything was okay.
I can't imagine having to go through that!!
I cannot imagine the anguish you must have been feeling that day, waiting to get in touch with your husband. It breaks my heart just thinking about it. I'm glad you are all okay and that the U.S. Airways passengers and crew are safe, too.
I'm so sorry you went through that. I can't even imagine. Don't be too hard on yourself. Your kids got to see how much their mom loves their dad. So glad Chris is safe!
Very scary. I am so glad Chris is fine. I am sorry you had to go through that.
Bless your heart...that must have been so scary. I am so glad that not only was your husband safe, but everyone else was too.
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