Monday, December 15, 2008

If You Leave Me Now...

When I was in high school, I loved the song by Chicago that went, "If you leave me now, you'll take away the biggest part of me." Well, today I thought of that song once again as I said goodbye for the first time to my little girls. I have never been separated from them for more than one night. But today they got on an airplane with their daddy to start their Christmas vacation early.

The girls were so excited to go visit "tickle" grandpa in New Mexico and didn't even mind getting up at 5:30 a.m. I didn't think it was affecting me until I hugged them goodbye and the tears started flowing -- my tears. Selena is like her dad, happily said goodbye. Sophia is so much like me and started to cry when she saw me losing it. But I sucked it up fast because I didn't want to upset her. I hugged her and told she was going to have so much fun.

I got in the car and the tears came again. My stomach actually hurt because I felt so anxious that I wasn't going to be with them. I came home and got emotional when I walked by their empty bedroom. I know Chris will take good care of them. How could he not after I gave him a ton of instructions on which lotion goes on which girl, which toothpaste they each prefer, keep them warm, and I just pray they get their hair combed at least one day while they're away from me. They arrived safely to falling snow.

I thankfully had two jobs today to keep my mind occupied. I didn't even mind that my doctor depo went 5 hours instead of the scheduled one hour, so I didn't have the chance to get emotional again. Alec and I did some Christmas shopping tonight, bought our Christmas cards, and ate cheeseburgers.

Tomorrow will be hard when I wake up and don't have the girls coming in my bed, fighting over who gets to touch my neck and cuddling with me. But I'll be with them soon and I hope I remember this feeling of missing them terribly, so I'll be more patient when I'm with them.

7 comments:

Jeri said...

So sweet. I am sure they are missing you just as much. Love the last picture...so cute!

Christie said...

Aww, I am sure that they are missing you. How fun though for them, to go on a little adventure with dad. :-)

Heidi said...

How sweet.

Diana said...

Nothing like a five-hour doctor depo to distract the mind from your sadness. I think that would have added to mine! You are a sweet and loving mother. I need to be more like you.

Mendy said...

I am so sorry that you are so RIDICULOUS about letting your children be with their father. I just worry about who is going to bathe them.

Just think about the joyous reunion you'll have in a couple of days. They'll be stroking your neck in no time.

Chris McCoy said...

Oh that is sweet! Its hard to be away from children at all - I loved that song too... hope you have a nice Christmas with your family - I know how important they are to you

CMc

Amber said...

You are beautiful and so are your girls. I love those pictures.

It is great for them to have time with there Dad. What a great mom you are!