40

Today I woke up with a few more wrinkles, a few more gray hairs, and a little droopier. I was ready to schedule my liposuction and lifts and enhancements to various body parts, but then I heard about a former Ms. Argentina who died after getting a gluteoplasty and decided against going under the knife.

When I turned 30, it wasn't a major event for me. But for some reason 40 has me a little uneasy, probably because I remember my parents being in their 40's and thinking, holy cow, they're old. And now here I am -- in the 40 club.

My sweet kids brought me breakfast in bed this morning, complete with eggs, ham, toast, orange juice and even two Vitamin C's. They gave me a Lady Gaga cd, which I played in the car when I drove Alec and his friend to their football banquet and they had to listen to me sing, "I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love me, papa, paparazzi." It seemed to amuse them.

Chris had to fly today, which I'm not going to lie, totally sucks since it was my birthday. So I spent the evening with Alec at his football banquet. But he ditched me to hang out with his friends, so I was grateful Laurrel was there to sit by me so I wasn't a complete loner.

Mendy babysat my girls for me and when I went to pick them up, she had baked me a cake and gave me some leopard print gloves and slippers. She knows how I love animal print accessories and clothing, so I was very excited.

I called my mom to tell her I was now 40 and feeling old and how I remembered her being in her 40's. She laughed and was trying to say something, which I'm sure was, "I told you I wasn't old when I was that age, and now you're there!"

When you're young, it's natural that you need your mother to take care of you. But even though I'm a 40-year-old woman, I still need my mom and would give anything to tell her all the things I'm feeling and get her advice on things I'm struggling with.

I spoke with a long-time family friend tonight and she said the sweetest words to me that I really needed to hear. She said, "I feel impressed to tell you that even though your mother can't say these words to you, I know if she could, she would tell you how very special you are to her and how proud she is to have you for a daughter and that she loves you very much."

Even though I know my mom feels that way, it was just nice to hear it verbalized, especially on a day like today, when I know if my mom could, she would have called me to talk, tease me about being old, and listened to me complain about my aging body.

One of the many traits I received from my mom is my love for shopping. She would always buy me the prettiest dresses on my birthday. I know if she could, she would've sent me a new outfit in honor of turning 40. So to cheer myself up, I'll buy some new clothes because I know it's what she'd want.

I love this picture of my mom and me, because it so perfectly illustrates my feelings for her then and now. Yes, that little girl in the picture is now 40!