Lesson Learned

One thing my kids are always asking for besides a dog is another baby. Alec thinks it's so unfair that he doesn't have a brother. The girls just want a baby to hold, kiss and be a mommy to.
Well, last weekend Alec brought home a temporary brother for himself. It was actually a sad event that brought Alec's friend to our house. Alec had returned from the library with not only some books, but a boy who had run away from home and needed somewhere to stay or as Alec said, "He'd have to sleep in the woods."
I told "Bob" that he had to call his mom so she wouldn't worry, because I imagined she was probably going a little crazy.
She was relieved when I called her. There were problems at home, obviously, because she said he could stay the night with us and had never been to our house or really know anything about us.
Well, the one night turned into 4 days. Alec was in heaven -- he had a brother. "Bob" was happy with us, because they played video games and had an endless supply of chips, fruit roll-ups and Rice Krispie treats. But obviously this isn't real life, since he didn't have any chores, homework or responsibilities. "Bob" did not want to leave. I had him call his mom every day. He'd ask to stay just one more night and she'd agree.
On Friday night, Alec had a basketball game and not only did "Bob" come, but they invited another friend too. So as we drove 30 minutes to the game, I put on my Friday night 80's radio station. Alec was embarrassed as I sang Bananrama and Culture Club loudly and tried to get his friends to sing along. They just laughed at me, but my girls sang with me. The boys wondered what kind of band was named Bananarama.
When Sunday came, I explained to our house guest that we went to church for three hours and he was welcome to come or if that was too much, I could take him home. He joined us for church and even put on one of Alec's dress shirts and tie. I felt bad that the slacks were a little tight, but he wore them anyway and didn't complain. At the beginning of the third hour of church, he asked Alec if there was another class or that was it. He made it through and even attended a youth meeting that night with Alec.
I took him home Sunday night, so he could talk to his mom. I think she had enjoyed the few days of no pre-teen drama. She told him it was time for him to come home, but he asked if he could stay one more night with us. She rightfully told him it was time for him to stay and they needed to work on things.
Now, the whole time he was with us, he was totally polite and respectful to me and nice to my girls. But as he talked to his mom, I could see his attitude change. I told his mom how well-behaved he was and then asked "Bob" if he could treat her as well as he treated me.
Later that night, his mom called me and said that "Bob" had told her he was going to leave again and come back to my house. She said she was very grateful that we took him in, but asked that we not take him in again if he runs away. She wants him to stay at home, obviously, and I understand that. I just prayed that he didn't show up at my door and I had to be faced with the dilemma of having to turn him away -- that would break my heart.
The next day, I had to go to his school to give him his backpack that he had left at our house. I told him that he was always welcome at our home, but it had to be with his mom's permission. He told me he forgot his lunch, so I gave him some money and thankfully had already put some fruit roll-ups in his backpack. I promised him that we'd call him for sleepovers again, but to please be nice to his mom. He agreed and I hope he is.
There are times when I feel I have no idea how to handle raising a pre-teen. But I found myself having more patience for this little boy, who I didn't know, than I sometimes do for my own son. I realized I need to have as much compassion and understanding for my own children as I did for this boy. I think Alec learned something too, like I'm not as unreasonable as he sometimes thinks I am and he appreciates his home life a little bit more now.